Tag Archives: comedy

Rich, Ridiculous Romney.


Above is the now famous video of Mitt Romney speaking to potential donors about how he won’t be able to get 47% of the vote because they are dependent on the government, don’t want to take responsibility and to ensure continuing their entitled laziness will vote Democrat. It has been no secret that Romney, or Rmoney, is completely out of touch with the middle and lower classes. He’s already infamous for saying he doesn’t really care about the poor  and that $360k isn’t a lot of money.

Although it was soon revealed to be a clever Photoshop work by Democratic Underground, the point resonated too strongly for anyone to care much.

However, it seems he’s completely out of touch with pretty much everything, except his own money. His claim that 47% of America won’t vote for him because they are already comfortable in Obama’s no-tax-paying-pocket does a lot to show how little he knows about his target demographic, or at least what he chooses to ignore about his own party. If you take a look at who actually doesn’t pay their federal taxes, you might find it ironic, or just plain obvious, to see the truth.

That belt looks awfully familiar. That wouldn’t be an overwhelmingly republican area of the country… would it?

Do you also find it interesting that Republicans seem to be the most notorious for evading the most taxes? It stands to reason that the ones most vocal about distrusting government are the least likely to contribute to it. Not that it stops them from accepting unemployment checks and using those conveniently paved roads.
Condemning those who parasitically suckle at Big Brother’s tit is understandable. However, actively avoiding contribution is basically the same thing.
Hypocrisy aside, when you target a group of people for being entitled tax evaders, you should at least be right about which group that is. (And it really shouldn’t be your own.)


The fact of the matter is that Romney shamelessly represents a Republican worldview that is flawed because it is based upon a small and particularly rosy sliver of reality.  To preserve that worldview, they have to that believe that people have earned their relative social position, and ignore bleeding heart liberals who try to point out that the world is in fact in stark contrast.  I think this shows why Republicans put so much effort into “creating their own reality,” into fostering distrust of experts and scientists and why they won’t let a campaign “be dictated by fact-checkers” said one Neil Newhouse. He would know. As a pollster, it’s his job gather public opinions making him the authority on facts. Obviously.
It reveals why there is no shortage of studies that show— examples herehere, and here –  that regular consumers of Republican-oriented media are less informed than people who inform themselves elsewhere or refrain from watching the news at all.

Simply put, those with an extremely limited and highly privileged worldview have to ignore the harsh economic realities of those on the other end of the spectrum in order to maintain that comfortably convenient view and their self-esteem.
This is a man who has traveled much, seen the world and has still managed to come out of it completely unchanged. This is a man that can’t understand Sociology 101 even after having the benefit of going on countless field trips and enjoying numerous hands-on experiences.

And if you do not like Romney but are a republican, you should take a long, hard look at why you believe what you believe. It may just be ignorance. You’re not entirely at fault; it’s difficult to shake one’s perspective.
Everyone grows up believing their normal is the normal.
So, while he may represent a small handful of ill-informed, rich, white Americans; he does not represent this country.
Not even close.

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Save A Life. Suck A Dick.

There are far too many inconsiderate, unsafe, awful fucking drivers on the road. Sometimes the random Korean grandmother will try to slowly merge her Honda CRV steadily into you, but most of the time it’s some testosterone fueled maniac with too much adrenaline in his veins, trust in his abilities and sperm in his sack.



And sadly, this falls as yet another burden upon the women of this country. It’s up to you to save us. Next time your boyfriend, husband, blind date or any stupid guy that happens to be behind the wheel starts thinking he’s Vin Diesel, here’s what you do: Put your hair back in a bun, place your seat-belt comfortably under your arm, bend over to your left, unzip his pants
and suck his dick.

I’ll bet he drives safely with his manhood between your teeth.

Now his fragile fifth limb sits betwixt a jagged guillotine and if he’s following too closely again and rear ends someone this time, click, off it goes. And if you’ve got bad teeth and braces, that’s twice the incentive. If you’re lucky enough to have a good dental plan and straight teeth you might get a nice, clean cut when impact forces your chompers together violently but if his junk has been ripped apart by crooked teeth in sharp metal armor… there may be a few issues with reattaching.

But he’s not gonna refuse the offer. No one turns down road-head. So he’s gonna drive nice and easy. Safe and slow.

Remember, if your safety and the safety of others is at risk, you could save a life by simply sucking a dick.

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I think that the phrase “Nice Guys Finish Last” was meant sexually.

Nice Guys

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Talking a Mile a Minute

With my foot in my mouth.
For as long as I can remember.
I’ve traveled a long distance talking a lot of shit and my feet taste like ass.
What can I say? I’ve come to enjoy the flavor.

I often use too many words much too quickly with too little thought preceding that speech and something stupid inevitably comes tumbling out of my mouth and into the world. That is when I have to make a choice; apologize or tape a bright, red bow on that pretty pile of shit and pretend it was on purpose. I prefer the latter.

I get distracted easily. I have a hard time focusing. Some have said I have ADHD.
And it’s true that if it isn’t shiny or boobs I probably missed it. Or you know, maybe I saw it, laughed at it, had a conversation with you about it and then forgot the second we parted ways.

That happens too.

I’m a server at a popular chain restaurant, I am a student at the local community college and my selection of hobbies and interests are the seasonings with which I spice my life. They will often inspire the contents of the posts that are to follow.

I’m not entirely sure how this blog will progress.
I think it will be good.

But I’m not making any promises.

I’m not good with commitment.

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