Tag Archives: friends

Facebook Friends (And Why We Shouldn’t Have So Many)

Every so often, you’ll see a status update from one of your friends in which they feel the need to alert everyone that some of you are getting deleted. Since a person will usually delete others based on how infrequently they speak with someone or how little they know that person, it’s a sacrifice they’re willing to make.
It’s at least a little easier to hurt the feelings of the person you don’t know that well; you haven’t invested that much into them yet.

I would like to propose a different way of viewing the subject. Every single casual acquaintance is a possible genuine friendship, even the ones you’ve only met once or have spoken with just a midget’s handful of times. Who knows, maybe you’ll become great friends some day.
I think a better way of going about cleansing the list is to gauge which of those on your Friend’s List you actually like. Be honest with yourself and separate them from those you’ve come to know and are pretty sure you’re never going to get along with. Then, delete the latter.
I don’t think that “seniority rules” should apply when it comes to friends.

Sure, he’s a complete asshole, but I’ve known him FOREVER.

The main reasons we avoid deleting those long-time pseudo-friends that we  knowingly dislike (and who probably return the sentiment) is to avoid awkward social situations or to preserve the feelings of the recently departed, er, deleted.
Which is fine if that is your highest priority.
But it isn’t mine.
I think that the person you’ve only met once deserves a place on your list more than the person you never really got along with or grew apart from years ago. I figure, that person will get over it. Fuck it, why be sneaky about how you feel? If you don’t like someone, you should be able to assertively express yourself and they should be able to get over it.
If they can’t, (and sometimes they won’t) you’ll find it only reinforces your decision.

He was pissed when I deleted him. It’s not that we actually liked each other, but he had JUST gotten his friend’s list up to 420.

The fact of the matter is, beyond 150 people, we really can’t keep up with anyone else’s life. Our neo-cortex simply isn’t designed to handle it. So, that encourages me to take an active role in deciding which people to whom I apply my brain’s limited ability for giving a shit. And if I’ve got some extra spaces (and I think many of us do) I’d rather have them filled by people I rarely, but pleasantly, talk to than with some old faces that I’m only tolerating out of etiquette.
It may seem callous or trivial, but it’s my life and it’s important to me how I live it.
Besides, it’s only Facebook, right?

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