Tag Archives: personal

Facebook Friends (And Why We Shouldn’t Have So Many)

Every so often, you’ll see a status update from one of your friends in which they feel the need to alert everyone that some of you are getting deleted. Since a person will usually delete others based on how infrequently they speak with someone or how little they know that person, it’s a sacrifice they’re willing to make.
It’s at least a little easier to hurt the feelings of the person you don’t know that well; you haven’t invested that much into them yet.

I would like to propose a different way of viewing the subject. Every single casual acquaintance is a possible genuine friendship, even the ones you’ve only met once or have spoken with just a midget’s handful of times. Who knows, maybe you’ll become great friends some day.
I think a better way of going about cleansing the list is to gauge which of those on your Friend’s List you actually like. Be honest with yourself and separate them from those you’ve come to know and are pretty sure you’re never going to get along with. Then, delete the latter.
I don’t think that “seniority rules” should apply when it comes to friends.

Sure, he’s a complete asshole, but I’ve known him FOREVER.

The main reasons we avoid deleting those long-time pseudo-friends that we  knowingly dislike (and who probably return the sentiment) is to avoid awkward social situations or to preserve the feelings of the recently departed, er, deleted.
Which is fine if that is your highest priority.
But it isn’t mine.
I think that the person you’ve only met once deserves a place on your list more than the person you never really got along with or grew apart from years ago. I figure, that person will get over it. Fuck it, why be sneaky about how you feel? If you don’t like someone, you should be able to assertively express yourself and they should be able to get over it.
If they can’t, (and sometimes they won’t) you’ll find it only reinforces your decision.

He was pissed when I deleted him. It’s not that we actually liked each other, but he had JUST gotten his friend’s list up to 420.

The fact of the matter is, beyond 150 people, we really can’t keep up with anyone else’s life. Our neo-cortex simply isn’t designed to handle it. So, that encourages me to take an active role in deciding which people to whom I apply my brain’s limited ability for giving a shit. And if I’ve got some extra spaces (and I think many of us do) I’d rather have them filled by people I rarely, but pleasantly, talk to than with some old faces that I’m only tolerating out of etiquette.
It may seem callous or trivial, but it’s my life and it’s important to me how I live it.
Besides, it’s only Facebook, right?

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Save A Life. Suck A Dick.

There are far too many inconsiderate, unsafe, awful fucking drivers on the road. Sometimes the random Korean grandmother will try to slowly merge her Honda CRV steadily into you, but most of the time it’s some testosterone fueled maniac with too much adrenaline in his veins, trust in his abilities and sperm in his sack.



And sadly, this falls as yet another burden upon the women of this country. It’s up to you to save us. Next time your boyfriend, husband, blind date or any stupid guy that happens to be behind the wheel starts thinking he’s Vin Diesel, here’s what you do: Put your hair back in a bun, place your seat-belt comfortably under your arm, bend over to your left, unzip his pants
and suck his dick.

I’ll bet he drives safely with his manhood between your teeth.

Now his fragile fifth limb sits betwixt a jagged guillotine and if he’s following too closely again and rear ends someone this time, click, off it goes. And if you’ve got bad teeth and braces, that’s twice the incentive. If you’re lucky enough to have a good dental plan and straight teeth you might get a nice, clean cut when impact forces your chompers together violently but if his junk has been ripped apart by crooked teeth in sharp metal armor… there may be a few issues with reattaching.

But he’s not gonna refuse the offer. No one turns down road-head. So he’s gonna drive nice and easy. Safe and slow.

Remember, if your safety and the safety of others is at risk, you could save a life by simply sucking a dick.

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I think that the phrase “Nice Guys Finish Last” was meant sexually.

Nice Guys

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Talking a Mile a Minute

With my foot in my mouth.
For as long as I can remember.
I’ve traveled a long distance talking a lot of shit and my feet taste like ass.
What can I say? I’ve come to enjoy the flavor.

I often use too many words much too quickly with too little thought preceding that speech and something stupid inevitably comes tumbling out of my mouth and into the world. That is when I have to make a choice; apologize or tape a bright, red bow on that pretty pile of shit and pretend it was on purpose. I prefer the latter.

I get distracted easily. I have a hard time focusing. Some have said I have ADHD.
And it’s true that if it isn’t shiny or boobs I probably missed it. Or you know, maybe I saw it, laughed at it, had a conversation with you about it and then forgot the second we parted ways.

That happens too.

I’m a server at a popular chain restaurant, I am a student at the local community college and my selection of hobbies and interests are the seasonings with which I spice my life. They will often inspire the contents of the posts that are to follow.

I’m not entirely sure how this blog will progress.
I think it will be good.

But I’m not making any promises.

I’m not good with commitment.

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